A Fresh Perspective
Giving Yourself Advice
When considering a difficulty faced by a friend, the solution frequently
comes to us easily. In looking at our own troubles, however, our vision can
become clouded because we see our problems through the veil of our emotions,
opinions, worries, and personal experiences. Because of this, it is no simple
matter to give yourself advice. It is hard to step out of your mindset to view
your conundrum with a fresh eye. One technique that can aid you in examining
your problems from multiple, objective angles, involves imagining yourself
helping a friend work through the same difficulty. In doing so, you have the
opportunity to formulate a thoughtful, and a caring course of action that is
often easier to follow than advice from another source.
Begin by looking at your circumstance by stepping outside of yourself, and then
shift your perspective to look at it as you would if a treasured friend was in
the same situation. If you like, you can even go so far as to have an imaginary
conversation with the "friend", speaking gently, reassuringly, and
uncritically. Think about what reaction their problem evokes in you. If you are
you driven to tell them that things will look up or that good will come from it
eventually, do so. Offer advice rooted both in common sense and in compassion.
After you have looked at the problem from a remote perspective, let yourself
once again view it from your personal perspective. Offer the same reassurances
to yourself that you offered to your hypothetical friend. Your encouraging
words and suggestions will likely feel like they came from a trusted advisor
and an impartial observer.
All in all, your advice to yourself, even if difficult, will be easier to take
if conceived of objectively. Giving yourself guidance in this manner is a way
to contemplate a problem without strong emotional involvement, to come up with
confident solutions, and to soothe your troubled soul.
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